Co-Parenting Tips For a Newly Divorced Parent

Co-parenting after divorce is difficult, even when couples divorce amicably. After the divorce is finalized, families must turn their attention towards rebuilding their family unit in a new way. This often involves working with your ex to put the child’s needs above your own. While this might seem like an easy task, co-parenting with an ex is daunting during even the best times.

Unfortunately, children frequently bear the brunt of divorce frustrations, as well as the stress of being caught in the middle. Their whole lives have been turned upside down, and they must now learn to navigate a new “normal” with parents who don’t always see eye-to-eye.

How can you co-parent with your ex in a better way?

10 Tips for Effective Co-Parenting after Divorce

Co-parenting is a relationship that exists between two adults who must focus their efforts and energies on caring for the children. Ideally, both parents will equally invest in their children and in their futures. While you cannot control how your ex chooses to be involved in your children’s lives, here are some general guidelines to help you navigate the co-parenting process.

  1. Put the Child’s Needs First. The first and main rule of co-parenting is to always put your child’s needs above your own. This is sometimes difficult after divorce when your own emotions are running high. Before making decisions, stop to consider what is in your child’s best interest. You might not want to share your child on their birthday or let them go on a vacation with their other parent. However, is that what is best for your child – or just you?
  2. Be Honest. Children deserve honesty. You and your ex need to be as honest as you can about your divorce without involving them in adult issues. Let them know that it is not their fault and that you both love them. Let your children express their feelings and be honest about the divorce and the changes that will come.
  3. Keep Children Out of It. Divorce is never easy, and parents may struggle afterward, either emotionally or financially. Keep your children out of your own struggles. They’re dealing with enough. Children process information differently and are not capable of shouldering adult burdens. Do not burden them further – keep them out of it.
  4. Maintain Stability. Chances are your child’s life got turned upside down during the divorce. While divorce is a time of many changes, parents should do their best to minimize those changes as much as possible. Maintaining stability is important and can help children heal after divorce. Do your best to maintain relationships with all of their relatives, friends, and family members.
  5. Stay Engaged. Your children may feel a bit lost after your divorce. They’re now spending time away from both of their parents, and this may take its toll on them emotionally. When you are with them, stay engaged. Let them know you’re there for them, even when they lash out or have big feelings. Spend quality time with them, even if you can’t spend every day with them. This goes a long way towards helping them through the divorce.
  6. Support Your Ex. Both parents play an important role in co-parenting after divorce. While you may not love your ex any longer, it is important to support them in decisions regarding your children. Work together to establish boundaries, discipline actions, and parenting schedules. The more you can support each other, the better your co-parenting relationship will be.
  7. Respect Goes a Long Way. When you talk about your ex, be polite and respectful. Avoid the temptation to bad-mouth your ex to your children. Treat each other with respect whenever possible, and you will help your children get through the divorce easier.
  8. Seek Help. If your ex is willing, consider seeking help to become more effective co-parents. A counselor or therapist can help you both work through difficult parenting issues while protecting your children from harm. It is equally important for you to have a therapist or friend you can vent to about your own feelings after divorce.
  9. Take Care of Yourself. Divorce is difficult for everyone. Before you can support your children and help them heal, you must care for yourself. Putting yourself last is a recipe for disaster. Take care of yourself emotionally and physically, so you can be the best version of yourself for your children.
  10. Honor Your Ex’s Time With Your Children. It is important to honor your ex’s time with your children. This means limiting communication with your children, so they can focus on spending time with their other parent. If you need to discuss children’s issues with your ex, try to choose a neutral time when they’re not actively parenting, such as when kids are in school or participating in extracurricular activities.

Call Our Experienced Atlanta Family Law Attorneys

At Hobson & Hobson, P.C., our Georgia divorce attorneys know that protecting your children and their future is your top priority during the divorce process. We believe in helping divorcing spouses build a co-parenting plan that is best for the children and that seeks to put their needs first. To do this, we aggressively represent our clients during the divorce process and advocate for equal parenting time whenever possible.

Call us today at (770) 284-6153 or fill out our confidential contact form. We can set up a consultation, so you can review all your legal options.

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