If you’re currently navigating the choppy waters of co-parenting after a split, you’ve probably wondered on more than one restless night: Will this ever get easier? As an experienced child custody lawyer in Atlanta, I’ve worked with countless divorced and separated parents struggling to find their new normal. And while I won’t sugarcoat it – co-parenting is rarely a walk in the park – I can confidently say that with time, effort, and the right mindset, it can indeed get easier.
But how exactly do you turn a tense, acrimonious dynamic with your ex into a stable, workable co-parenting arrangement? Here are six key tips I’ve learned through my years working in Atlanta family law:
#1: Keep your eye on the prize and avoid getting sucked into battles over petty issues.
Constantly butting heads will only leave you drained and your kids caught in the crossfire. Whenever you feel yourself getting pulled into pointless power struggles, take a step back and ask: “Is this really worth fighting over? What’s best for my children in this situation?”
Making decisions based on your children’s best interests rather than your own hurt or anger will help you navigate even the most complicated co-parenting battles. If you do what’s best for your kids, that will almost never be wrong.
#2: Strive For “Parallel Parenting” If Need Be
In an ideal world, co-parents would be a united front – backing each other up, communicating seamlessly, and never disparaging each other in front of the children. But let’s be real: in the raw aftermath of a split, this level of coordination is a tall order for most.
If you and your ex can barely manage a civil conversation, don’t beat yourself up. Instead, aim for “parallel parenting“: a minimally engaged arrangement where each parent fulfills their responsibilities independently, keeping communication brief and strictly kid-focused. Over time, as you both heal and adapt to your new roles, you may find yourselves naturally transitioning into a more collaborative dynamic. But in the meantime, parallel parenting can give everyone much-needed breathing room.
#3: Find Alternative Communication Channels
When face-to-face interactions with your ex too often devolve into shouting matches, it’s time to take a different tack. Luckily, these days, there are numerous lower-stakes options for swapping information about schedules, expenses, and logistics.
Many of my clients swear by co-parenting apps, which allow you to share calendars, documents, and messages without the volatility of in-person exchanges. If even trading texts feels fraught, see if your ex would be open to designating a neutral third party, like a mutual friend or family member, to serve as a go-between on routine issues. The fewer opportunities there are for emotionally charged interactions, the lower the odds of a dreaded blow-up.
#4: Don’t Take The Bait
Sad to say, but some exes thrive on pushing buttons and stirring up drama. And when you’ve got a long history together, they know exactly where all your rawest nerves are. If you sense your ex is itching for a fight, don’t give them the satisfaction.
This is where the old maxim “kill ’em with kindness” comes in handy. When they go low, be polite and unflappable. Resist the urge to fire off that biting retort on the tip of your tongue. Instead, keep your responses short, factual, and resolutely cordial. Nothing diffuses conflict faster than refusing to fuel it.
#5: Give It Time
In the early days of co-parenting, emotions tend to be running high. You’re grieving the end of your relationship, adjusting to a new living situation, and may be feeling a bevy of intense feelings like sadness, anger, or insecurity. Meanwhile, your kids are also processing the seismic changes in their own way. With so many swirling emotions, some bumps in the road are inevitable.
The good news is that it can and often does get better. Some initial turbulence will naturally settle down as you and your kids settle into your new routines and reality. Though it may not feel like it now, time is on your side.
#6: Don’t Hesitate To Seek Outside Support
Weathering the co-parenting learning curve is no easy feat; if you find yourself floundering, that’s understandable. Don’t feel like you have to tough it out on your own. Reaching out for professional guidance can make all the difference.
Many freshly divorced co-parents find that attending therapy, whether individually or in a joint session with their ex, gives them vital tools for managing their new family dynamic. Others join support groups to connect with fellow co-parents wrestling with similar challenges. Of course, consulting with a knowledgeable Atlanta child custody attorney can help you understand your rights and advocate for your children’s interests in concrete ways.
No matter how you build your support system, remember this: you don’t have to go it alone. With the right resources in your corner, you will find your co-parenting equilibrium—and your whole family will be better off for it.
Contact Our Atlanta Family Law Attorneys
Co-parenting is a skill like any other – and like any skill, it takes practice to get the hang of it. So, if you’re in those challenging early stages, take heart. While it isn’t always smooth, it can get easier.
If you’re caught in a co-parenting nightmare, you might need our help. We can help you through many common divorce and custody issues, such as modifying existing agreements or advocating for more parenting time. Call our Atlanta child custody lawyers today. Contact Hobson & Hobson today at (770) 284-6153 or fill out our confidential contact form to schedule a consultation.
Attorney Sarah Hobson at Hobson and Hobson, P.C. are powerful advocates for those who fight for better futures for those going through divorce and custody law matters.
