The start of the New Year often brings resolutions and a sense of new possibilities. Ex-spouses sharing parenting responsibilities are no exception. A re-evaluation of busy lives can make parents consider whether they should make changes for their children or themselves in the coming year.

Raising children always comes with challenges, but for ex-spouses in a co-parenting relationship, those challenges are often multiplied exponentially. Sharing responsibilities and making decisions based on your child’s best interests can require high levels of acceptance and communication. You may have already encountered some of the following issues:

• Your discipline styles are very different. You may have known that you were the disciplinarian in the family before your divorce, but differences in parenting styles often become much more pronounced when co-parenting after a divorce. You must determine whether those differences are minor, and you need to let them go or whether having two completely different standards for rules and conduct could confuse your child. In particular, children who struggle with boundaries, rules, and consistency may need both households to operate similarly.
• Since most divorces result from a lack of communication, communicating with your ex can be full of challenges. Residual feelings of anger and resentment can spill over into your parenting decisions. When your ex is late picking up the child or misses an appointment—no matter how valid the reason—those feelings can bubble to the surface in a way that helps no one.
• Financial inequity between you and your ex. If you are struggling with additional child-related expenses that were not covered in your child support agreement and your ex—who is significantly better off financially—refuses to help, it can be extremely frustrating. Talk to your attorney about whether your child support agreement can be updated to give you some relief.

Some healthy habits for 2023 will not only help you with these challenges, but they will make co-parenting with your ex easier. When that happens, the children will benefit. These include:

• Resolve to take good care of yourself. When you are physically and mentally healthy, your children will also reap benefits. Get regular exercise, maintain a healthy diet, and get plenty of sleep. When you aren’t spending time with your children, take that time to do something that makes you happy. Of course, there are chores to be done—there always are. But taking time to discover a new hobby or restart an old one can reduce your anxiety and stress levels. Have a picnic in the park, enjoying the quiet and simply taking time out of your busy life.
• Focus on all the good, positive things in your life. There is never a shortage of negativity, especially after a divorce, but at some point, it becomes time to leave the past where it belongs and tune into the good in your life.
• Practice the art of compromise. Even if your ex put you through the wringer during your divorce and after, making the first move toward being more flexible may garner some unexpectedly positive results. If you are willing to work with your ex, they may back away from the negativity and return the favor—and your children will benefit.
• Resolve to give and get respect. Respect the time your ex spends with your child, as well as their right to their own life apart from parenting—and expect the same in return. Your child’s other parent has the right to parent in their own way, even if you disagree with how they do it. So long as the parent is never putting the child’s safety at risk, then the differences in parenting styles don’t matter so much.

Vow to start the New Year with a resolution of either getting your co-parenting relationship moving in a more positive direction or continuing positive changes you have made in the past. Make sure your resolution to parent peacefully with your ex doesn’t get derailed by remembering the formula for a respectful co-parenting arrangement:

• Every single day, make a conscious choice to co-parent in a respectful, responsible manner.
• Work hard to set aside any differences with your ex, keeping in mind that your children will reap the benefits of your decision.
• Always do the right thing, even when the other parent does not. When your ex is consistently 20, 30, or 40 minutes late, it can be tempting to let them see how it feels by being late yourself. Don’t succumb to the temptation! Do what you know is right because when you retaliate, the entire situation can devolve extremely quickly.

2023 is here. While you will certainly have challenges in your co-parenting relationship, vow to make that relationship as good as it can possibly be, one day at a time.

Contact Our Atlanta Divorce Attorneys

At Hobson & Hobson, P.C., our Atlanta divorce attorneys can help you through any family issue, including parenting plan matters. We know that co-parenting with your ex is never easy. That’s why we work to draft parenting plans that fit your family’s needs and help prevent future legal battles.

Call us at (770) 284-6153 or fill out our confidential contact form. We can set up a consultation so that you can review all your legal options.

Sarah Hobson

Attorney Sarah Hobson at Hobson and Hobson, P.C. are powerful advocates for those who fight for better futures for those going through divorce and custody law matters.