Is Waiting Until After the Holidays to Start Your Divorce Really What’s Best?

Family LawIt’s the most wonderful time of the year

“It’s the most wonderful time of the year / With the kids jingle belling / And everyone telling you be of good cheer / It’s the most wonderful time of the year, “ Andy Williams sings in the classic holiday song “It’s The Most Wonderful Time of The Year.”

With the kids jingle belling
Culturally, we have always put a lot of emphasis and expectation on creating the idyllic Thanksgiving and Christmas memories for our families. We want the Norman Rockwell family portrait of unity and sharing around the Thanksgiving table. We dream of White Christmas’ when December rolls around and want to sing carols with rosy cheeked children and the eager anticipation of Christmas eve, hearing the children whisper and giggle as they creep to the Christmas tree to stare in awe at what Santa brought them. Some years though, this dream is a sharp contrast to the reality of what is actually happening at home.
Staying together for the holidays is a common phenomenon for many families on the brink of divorce. Mom or dad may think that telling their children of the upcoming changes will ruin what would have otherwise been one last “perfect” holiday season. However, for some, this way of thinking only prolongs the inevitable outcome. You may feel that you are avoiding short-term pain and discomfort but delaying the divorce is only extending your current dysfunctional relationship.

And everyone telling you be of good cheer
We hear this all the time and not just during the holiday season. Everyone worries about not only how their kids will react, but how others around them will react. If you are worried about what people will think of you for filing for divorce at Christmas, they are not the ones living your life, you are. Only you know what you can withstand, and we are here to help. Those people don’t live the day to day realities of your home life. Being of ‘good cheer’ during the holidays means that you are happy, so what will that take to get you there?

It’s the most wonderful time of the year
What is the most wonderful time of year for people going through a divorce? In a high conflict divorce, the silver lining of filing before the holidays is that the New Year can be a new beginning in your life. No one wants to be alone at Christmas time, but the sentiment of staying together during the holidays is for the children, but you don’t want your children to look back at what was intended to be a joyous season and have memories of stress and family tension.

Some tips for a happier holiday season while going through your divorce:

  • Remember – like having surgery, there’s never an ideal time to go through a divorce. There will be pain involved but there will also always be healing.
  • Resolve to talk with your spouse now and come up with an amicable solution before you find yourself in conflict.
  • Stop delaying the inevitable. There will always be a birthday, an anniversary, Valentine’s Day. Today can be the first day of the rest of your life.
  • Start creating new memories and traditions now. Memories that will include peace, grace and joy.

As the magic of the holiday season begins, don’t fall into despair trying to force a holiday card, picture-perfect illusion. If filing for divorce is the only way to create peace for your children, your spouse and yourself, give the gift of peace. Surround yourself with friends and family who truly lift your spirit and let Hobson & Hobson help you get through this.

If you need to call and talk to someone about your situation, schedule a time that’s right for you by clicking here.


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